Weight Loss Issue

I hate to be common, but I have the number one New Year’s resolution!  Surprise, surprise – weight loss.

Once upon a time – little over 7 years ago to be exact – I was a happy contented size 10/12 and everything was right with my world.  Then I had kids, took my eye of the ball and focused on them, got older and one day last year I looked down at my self – and with a horror that could rival Alice in Wonderland – discovered weight loss in reverse, I had grown to a size 16!

Genuine hunger is about number 8 in a list of 10 reasons I eat.  Looking back though I think I must have always had issues with food and weight loss pre-children, as otherwise I wouldn’t have slipped so easily into this quagmire of supplementing my needs with a big mouthful of fatty carby stodge.  Food is a drug after all, but it’s legal, easily accessible and relatively inexpensive.  But there must be deeper issues at work, it can’t be that I’m just greedy, can it?  Before I lose weight and get fit and healthy I think there are some psychological ‘issues’ I need to address;

Why can’t I keep healthy eating regimes up longer than 3 weeks?

Why do I blame my periods for my overindulgence?

Why do I blame my kids for my overindulgence?

Why when I’m watching telly of an evening do I resort to eating snacks?

Why do I reward myself with food?

Why do I comfort myself with food?

But then at least I don’t have the pressure of my yo yo weight being played out in public like Claire Richards (of Steps – tragedy – fame) whose fly on the wall weight loss documentary Slave to Food, I watched the other night.  I only have the self-imposed pressure of comparing myself negatively to the other perfect mums on the school run or when I see my older sister, who is so thin it hurts just to look at her.

It was difficult to watch a woman who has been as successful as Claire had been dealing with such extreme food issues and negative body issues.  She came across as a thoroughly lovely person, but incredibly vulnerable.  She obviously has a lot of psychological issues about food and needs to deal with them before her weight. Her whole life appeared to be centered around weight loss and gain, while the entertainment industry she chooses to be in magnifies the problem ten fold.  Claire was torn. On the one hand not wanting to cow tow to society’s pressure for her to be skinny. She saw it as her only option if she was to be seen as a success in a world where fat equals failure.

Closer magazine wanted to photograph Claire in a bikini at a size 10, so they helpfully got her Matt (a personal trainer) .  His job was to go to Claire’s house and whip her into shape to achieve the size Closer wanted her to be by the date Closer wanted.  Claire achieved her weight loss and was able to star in an advert for the magazine alongside a fat cardboard cut out of her former self.  ‘Look I’ve lost all that weight.  That used to be me!’ Claire squealed delightedly, pointing disparagingly at her former self.

Claire didn’t get to keep the trainer of course and as quickly as the magazine and Matt disappeared from her life, so did her weight Loss.

What was more revealing than seeing Claire Richards in her swimsuit and so much more unsettling was the lies perpetuated by Closer magazine, hidden behind the face of celebrity and beauty.  Am I naive?  When did it become acceptable only to help someone in genuine need when it benefited us?  Or is it truly a case of what the editor of Closer said when asked if Claire hadn’t reached her target weight would they still have her on the cover ‘Oh no’, she answered without catching breath ‘nobody would want to see that!’ It seems it’s always about weight loss!